Thursday, April 10, 2003 :::
walked down to the airbase to be fitted for my flight suit this morning. pretty cool. but for some reason they're all cut pretty long in the crotch. hmmm. perhaps the manufacturer knows something we don't?
got a look at the cool american -15s while we were there too. saw two of their pilots too. don't believe what you see in top gun.
incidentally, i now have a permit to carry a weapon on board the plane to oz. surprising that they'd still let us carry our flick-knife along with us in the current climate. but then again it'll be in the baggage after all...but hey! its still a weapon! so the next time your local qaeda recruiter calls, you know where to point him!
oh yeah. i leave for australia on the 25th, tentatively.
the place is tamworth. that's some town in south-east oz, somewhere around canberra. the accomodation and stuff there sounds pretty decent. certainly beats hendon. free flow of icecream, supposedly. single room with attached bath. heaters! mmmm.
first off i would like to announce how thankful i am to have been transferred to aviation wing, airforce school. this wouldn't have been possible without my parents, and God, and my manager, and i suppose my grandparents too since my parents wouldn't be around without them and my record company and my homies over in da hood ( what up, yo! ) and the good folks over at uhm...ikea. and peanut butter.
right. so now i have a 7.30 to 5 gig going on at paya lebar AB and i can't imagine how the government justifies paying me and my 26 fellow coursemates some $1600 a month for sitting around every day and doing absolutely jack. well perhaps the fact that i'm now considered an officer cadet helps ( just for being a pilot trainee. no officer training at this stage. ).
it is incredibly slack here. two breaks a day, we can buy food from the canteen and minimart and for almost the entire day we're pretty much left to our own devices. we've got our own airconditioned room where we can read, talk, play cards - there's even a risk board. there's even stadium and sport facilities, plus a pool and gym which we can use at certain times. i think we might even be allowed into the bar - duty free alcohol, what! things aren't totally OTOT - we airgraders are still at the bottom of the pecking order and we're supposed to greet the senior cadets and all that but all in all - after hendon, life is bliss.
i must start to exercise though. i just know i'm going to get fat from all the junk food and soft drinks and lack of movement.
i'm also still waiting for some blur cock to mistake my OCT bar and greet me 'Sir'. cheap thrills. :-p
Sunday, April 06, 2003 :::
thursday was...eventful. i probably shouldn't say much about what happened. but there is an air of faint ridiculousness how one small incident, albeit huge on stupidity, could have caused so much disruption. namely it screwed up more than an entire day's schedule for some 300+ people. all because of one stupid fool. the guy is probably going to have to sign so many extras, he'll never get out of camp for the rest of his ns life. but he should count himself lucky he's not heading to kranji hotel.
Saturday, March 29, 2003 ::: If I Ever Happen to Become an Evil Overlord,
(number goes here). i will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil i really am. good messengers are hard to come by.
(here, too). i won't require high-ranking female members of my organisation to wear a stainless-steel bustier. morale is better with a more casual dress-code. similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal ocasions.
(no prize for guessing what's in here). i will not employ devious schemes that involve the hero's party getting into my inner sanctum before the trap is sprung.
(well, whaddya expect?). i will not turn into a snake. it never helps.
* When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
* If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house move away immediately.
* Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
* Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
* If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
* When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off and go it alone.
* As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
* Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.
* If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
* If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
* Do not take anything from the dead.
* If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
* Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
* If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
* If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
* Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
* Never, ever, ever turn off the paved road onto a gravel or dirt road.
* Always make sure that your car has a fresh battery so it will start immediately in times of crisis.
* If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
* Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.
* Do not keep all your sharpened kitchen knives in one of those wooden block thingies on your worksurface.
* When you're searching a house because you think there's something dangerous there, for goodness sake turn the bloody lights on!
* Never back out of one room into another without looking. It's always behind you.
* If anything other than water (blood, thick goo of any color) comes out of a faucet, do not call a plumber. Leave the house immediately.
* If, looking in a mirror, you see a figure behind you that you don't see upon turning around, you see a different room than the one you are in, you see a figure other than yourself looking back, or your reflection tells you to get out before it is too late, proceed to the nearest exit with all speed.
* If you open a door and the room you see is not the room that should be there, do not explore it. In fact, even if you close the door and see the correct room after re-opening it, vacate the house.
* Never say that you'll be right back because you won't.
* Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be.
* And finally, never drink, do drugs, or have sex. Because only virgins survive in the end.
Based on an unoriginal earwig forwarded by Sue Sinclair.
Father Louis Vitale is arrested by a Federal Protective Services officer after Vitale joined anti-war protesters mainly from the religious community who blocked the entrance to the Philip Burton Federal Building in San Francisco, March 28, 2003. Police arrested about 75 monks, priests, rabbis and other clergy in San Francisco while a dozen other protesters linked together with plastic piping were arrested near the White House in Washington D.C. (Lou Dematteis/Reuters)
Friday, March 28, 2003 :::
today ( i.e. friday ) was the last day of bmt. so i'm no longer a lowly recruit - i'm now a lowly private! woot woot!
so to celebrate we had a company happy hour and a long weekend ( meaning we booked out friday night instead of saturday afternoon ) to boot. while i've always maintained that if they really wanted to make us happy they'd let us book out instead of making us stay to attend the happy hour, this one was pretty wild. people were getting stripped left right and centre to celebrate their birthdays. ostensibly. ostensibly, because even as my platoon stripped foo yong zhi he was still protesting that his birthday was in june. then we stuffed ice down his underwear anyway. muahaha. in the words of my platoon sergeant, 1sg tan boon ghee, "lan lan. suck thumb lor!". what a good man he is. i'll miss him.
anyway that wasn't much by the night's standards - 15 alpha stripped a guy completely, carried him around nekkid in full view of the entire company, trainers, officers and even the OC included, poured an entire igloo of ice over him, then, as he sat naked in the middle of the carpark in a pile of ice, sang him happy birthday with the entire company gathered round to watch. and all that wasn't even alcohol-fuelled. i can't imagine what it would have been like if there had been beer around, like at the battalion's pre-atec happy hour. hmm...
anyway. i said i'll miss sgt tan because i'll be leaving first commando on the 7th of april for the airforce. i'll book in as usual on sunday night, but i won't be joining in for basic cdo trg. good and bad - good because we'll be learning lots of cool stuff - real commando training. heli rappelling, tower jumps, abseiling, blowing things up, live firing cool support weapons like the LAW, 203 and MG. bad because there'll be lots of tekkan for sure, in addition to a major session. its a tradition that in the middle of some night - you don't know when - the entire company will get turned out and whacked really hard before they get presented with their jungle hats - more commonly known as condom hats. can't say i will regret missing all that, especially after this past monday night's session, but there are also good times and we've had a lot of laughs. so anyway i'll be transferred from my platoon to the company hq for next week to be a sai kang - shit work - warrior.
but hey. at least i'll be getting lots more dough as a pilot trainee - something to the tune of $1600, i think. not bad at all, i think. for as long as i can stay, anyway. most people expect me to be back sooner or later. its a joke that out of every 10 people who leave for pilot training, 11 come back. my trainers all go, "oh, see you in 2nd coy" - that's the next training company. and even as the sergeant major - a pretty good man - offered his congratulations and wished me luck he unconsciously implied that i'd be back. he was telling me to maintain my fitness, so that "when ( i ) come back" i wouldn't have too tough a time.
to some extent even i expect myself to get chopped. it isn't being pessimistic, or lacking in confidence. rather, its a fact that the rate of attrition is extremely high. and keep in mind the people getting chopped have all passed an initial screening and selection stage. reality bites.
Saturday, March 22, 2003 :::
this is worth your time:
funny chats part 1 ---
#4281 +(2913)- [X]
[Zybl0re] get up
[Zybl0re] get on up
[Zybl0re] get up
[Zybl0re] get on up
[phxl|paper] and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D\-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
][SA]HatfulOfHollow] i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
#5273 +(2905)- [X]
[erno[ hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
#5300 +(2421)- [X]
[tatclass[ YOU ALL SUCK DICK
[tatclass[ er.
[tatclass[ hi.
[andy\code[ A common typo.
[tatclass[ the keys are like right next to each other.
#23396 +(2019)- [X]
[Donut[AFK][ HEY EURAKARTE
[Donut[AFK][ INSULT
[Eurakarte[ RETORT
[Donut[AFK][ COUNTER-RETORT
[Eurakarte[ QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
[Donut[AFK][ SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
[Eurakarte[ NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
[Donut[AFK][ RIPOSTE
[Donut[AFK][ ADDON RIPOSTE
[Eurakarte[ COUNTER-RIPOSTE
[Donut[AFK][ COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
[Eurakarte[ NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
[Miles_Prower[ RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
[Eurakarte[ WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
[Miles_Prower[ ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
#4753 +(1740)- [X]
[xterm[ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
#4848 +(1660)- [X]
[ohm[ damn
[ohm[ FUCK
[ohm[ DAMN
[ohm[ i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
[ohm[ FUCK
[ohm[ i go like this to her
[ohm[ "i want to suck on your clit"
[ohm[ FUCK
#6441 +(1585)- [X]
[Zanthis(ALE)[ AFK, tornado
#5775 +(1545)- [X]
* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
being an asshole -
[ab[ HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
#21516 +(1480)- [X]
[turno[ I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
[Seeker[ Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
[turno[ I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
[Seeker[ Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
[turno[ Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
[Seeker[ Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] [Seeker[ Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] [opiate[ the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg] [Seeker[ hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] [opiate[ yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
[Privmsg] [turno[ You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] [Seeker[ I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] [turno[ *phew* spose you have a point
#369 +(1410)- [X]
[Beeth[ Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
[honx[ well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
#15641 +(1350)- [X]
[superwoman[ I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
[GrandCow[ HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
[superwoman[ DANNY?!?!?!
[GrandCow[ MOM?!?!?!?!
#1578 +(1326)- [X]
[calin[ we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
[ecoli[ ew.
[ecoli[ wait, you "caught" him?
[ecoli[ like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
[Aero[ he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)
#4278 +(1321)- [X]
[BombScare[ i beat the internet
[BombScare[ the end guy is hard
#5301 +(1253)- [X]
[blazemore[ LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
[FlipTopBx[ is it modded?
#6460 +(1247)- [X]
[studdud[ what the fuck is wtf
#9501 +(1234)- [X]
[AgentSmith[ It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
[AgentSmith[ One of these...has a future.
[Randerson[ LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
[AgentSmith[ How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m
#24 +(1206)- [X]
[ckx[ women ask for it
[ckx[ they act all old and mature
[ckx[ and then you stick your cock up their ass
[ckx[ and they get all bitchy
[ckx[ "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"
#25464 +(1200)- [X]
[kow`[ "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
[SpaceRain[ That's only 2 types of people, kow.
[SpaceRain[ STUPID
#12431 +(1195)- [X]
[Hiroe[ he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
[Hiroe[ like, HUGE costume
[Hiroe[ 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
[Hiroe[ at some anime con in california
[Hiroe[ they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
[Hiroe[ he's riding the elevator down to the con space
[Hiroe[ doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
[Hiroe[ he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
#8102 +(1122)- [X]
[glome[ Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
[content[ glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
[glome[ Who me?!
]content] Yes you!
]glome[ Couldn't be!
[content[ Then WHO?!!
[glome[ Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
#23601 +(1119)- [X]
[mage[ what should I give sister for unzipping?
[Kevyn[ Um. Ten bucks?
[mage[ no I mean like, WinZip?
#5598 +(1109)- [X]
[Kazz[ Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
[Zaratustra[ a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
[Zaratustra[ like a network card without the appropriate driver.
[Kazz[ Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
[Sharkey[ And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.
#13213 +(1071)- [X]
[Spazz[ Seems like when I say "FUCK" you get an EOF error :o
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Bartolimis[ fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Bartolimis[ fuck
[Spazz[ fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Spazz[ fuck
[Bartolimis[ stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Bartolimis[ we're done >:)
[Ranto[ hmh?
[Spazz[ Your client got an error...
[Bartolimis[ yeah, we're done saying fuck
[Spazz[ everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Spazz[ Quit saying fukc
[Bartolimis[ my bad
[Spazz[ fuck*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Icc[ Someone says fuck and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
#409 +(1067)- [X]
[DaZE[ at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4
#3936 +(1044)- [X]
[+kritical[ christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
[+Christin1[ how do i do that
#2605 +(1010)- [X]
* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
]dregan] Oh shit.
#10842 +(969)- [X]
]Aegis] Dude this chick said she wouldn't give me head because she doesn't do that
]Vyse] They still make those?
#8814 +(966)- [X]
]Night-hen-gayle] I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
#6824 +(942)- [X]
]@Logan] I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
]@Logan] I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"
#4680 +(927)- [X]
]Raize] can you guys see what I type?
]vecna] no, raize
]Raize] How do I set it up so you can see it?
#1730 +(872)- [X]
]Mikkel] If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
]Celestya] i dont think so
]Mikkel] Wanna go camping?
#2635 +(872)- [X]
]asr] 'fo sheezy.
]Sabboth] what the fuck does that mean in english? you should understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the language of the 'streets' as it were.
#10958 +(872)- [X]
(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bastard.
#5523 +(845)- [X]
]Opcode] i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file
#3630 +(823)- [X]
]blazemore] omg i love this song
]blazemore] Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
]Javi] blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song
#3935 +(819)- [X]
*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #relax
]Morpheus] argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable
#1069 +(815)- [X]
]orion`-`-] what the fuck
]orion`-`-] i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
]orion`-`-] brbrb
#5426 +(810)- [X]
]Alcaron] You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)
]Longi] Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
]Longi] err?
]Longi] THING
]Longi] someTHING!
#14207 +(786)- [X]
]h|tler] HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
#993 +(785)- [X]
serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?
ReDPriest:4.5 minutes
serluny:how did u do that?
ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do
that
serluny:what program
ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1
serluny:how do i download it?
ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com
serluny:i cant download it something is wrong
#4780 +(779)- [X]
]Thumb] do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
]Lucent] who?
]Thumb] center for disease control
]Lucent] i said WHO
]Thumb] what? i'm asking you
]Lucent] World Health Organization
#1964 +(766)- [X]
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?
#5259 +(760)- [X]
]reuben] somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
]reuben] i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
]cristobal] why don't you put ice on the stairs
]cristobal] and heat up the door knob
]cristobal] and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
]cristobal] then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....
#5863 +(751)- [X]
]mp] i am convinced i am a woman
]Oreoboros] mp: Why's that?
]mp] cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
]mp] and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain
#1963 +(750)- [X]
::: .enter@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190)
~ _YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY
::: .signoff@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190); ...
::: .signoff@6.53p> BlueBold (me@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p> ic3d (ic3d@64-59-140-156.ivideon.com); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p> CoolJeff4 (LoKv70@anolas01-p88.mts.net); Leaving
#6011 +(743)- [X]
]incarnate] hey cres, I know what you're thinking right now
]incarnate] " "
]cres] i dont get it
from the anti-bush protests in new york ( which were way back when, which only goes to show how totally out of touch i was with the outside world for the past 3 weeks. i have no idea what the hell is going on now, really. in fact, i have no idea who this 'bush' guy is. i just think that's a cool top. )
