Saturday, March 22, 2003 :::
this is worth your time:
funny chats part 1 ---
#4281 +(2913)- [X]
[Zybl0re] get up
[Zybl0re] get on up
[Zybl0re] get up
[Zybl0re] get on up
[phxl|paper] and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D\-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
][SA]HatfulOfHollow] i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
#5273 +(2905)- [X]
[erno[ hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
#5300 +(2421)- [X]
[tatclass[ YOU ALL SUCK DICK
[tatclass[ er.
[tatclass[ hi.
[andy\code[ A common typo.
[tatclass[ the keys are like right next to each other.
#23396 +(2019)- [X]
[Donut[AFK][ HEY EURAKARTE
[Donut[AFK][ INSULT
[Eurakarte[ RETORT
[Donut[AFK][ COUNTER-RETORT
[Eurakarte[ QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
[Donut[AFK][ SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP
[Eurakarte[ NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
[Donut[AFK][ RIPOSTE
[Donut[AFK][ ADDON RIPOSTE
[Eurakarte[ COUNTER-RIPOSTE
[Donut[AFK][ COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
[Eurakarte[ NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
[Miles_Prower[ RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
[Eurakarte[ WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
[Miles_Prower[ ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS
#4753 +(1740)- [X]
[xterm[ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
#4848 +(1660)- [X]
[ohm[ damn
[ohm[ FUCK
[ohm[ DAMN
[ohm[ i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
[ohm[ FUCK
[ohm[ i go like this to her
[ohm[ "i want to suck on your clit"
[ohm[ FUCK
#6441 +(1585)- [X]
[Zanthis(ALE)[ AFK, tornado
#5775 +(1545)- [X]
* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
being an asshole -
[ab[ HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
#21516 +(1480)- [X]
[turno[ I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
[Seeker[ Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
[turno[ I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
[Seeker[ Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
[turno[ Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
[Seeker[ Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] [Seeker[ Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] [opiate[ the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg] [Seeker[ hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] [opiate[ yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
[Privmsg] [turno[ You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] [Seeker[ I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] [turno[ *phew* spose you have a point
#369 +(1410)- [X]
[Beeth[ Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
[honx[ well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P
#15641 +(1350)- [X]
[superwoman[ I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
[GrandCow[ HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
[superwoman[ DANNY?!?!?!
[GrandCow[ MOM?!?!?!?!
#1578 +(1326)- [X]
[calin[ we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
[ecoli[ ew.
[ecoli[ wait, you "caught" him?
[ecoli[ like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
[Aero[ he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)
#4278 +(1321)- [X]
[BombScare[ i beat the internet
[BombScare[ the end guy is hard
#5301 +(1253)- [X]
[blazemore[ LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
[FlipTopBx[ is it modded?
#6460 +(1247)- [X]
[studdud[ what the fuck is wtf
#9501 +(1234)- [X]
[AgentSmith[ It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
[AgentSmith[ One of these...has a future.
[Randerson[ LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
[AgentSmith[ How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m
#24 +(1206)- [X]
[ckx[ women ask for it
[ckx[ they act all old and mature
[ckx[ and then you stick your cock up their ass
[ckx[ and they get all bitchy
[ckx[ "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"
#25464 +(1200)- [X]
[kow`[ "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
[SpaceRain[ That's only 2 types of people, kow.
[SpaceRain[ STUPID
#12431 +(1195)- [X]
[Hiroe[ he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
[Hiroe[ like, HUGE costume
[Hiroe[ 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
[Hiroe[ at some anime con in california
[Hiroe[ they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
[Hiroe[ he's riding the elevator down to the con space
[Hiroe[ doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
[Hiroe[ he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice
#8102 +(1122)- [X]
[glome[ Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
[content[ glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
[glome[ Who me?!
]content] Yes you!
]glome[ Couldn't be!
[content[ Then WHO?!!
[glome[ Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
#23601 +(1119)- [X]
[mage[ what should I give sister for unzipping?
[Kevyn[ Um. Ten bucks?
[mage[ no I mean like, WinZip?
#5598 +(1109)- [X]
[Kazz[ Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
[Zaratustra[ a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
[Zaratustra[ like a network card without the appropriate driver.
[Kazz[ Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
[Sharkey[ And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.
#13213 +(1071)- [X]
[Spazz[ Seems like when I say "FUCK" you get an EOF error :o
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Bartolimis[ fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Bartolimis[ fuck
[Spazz[ fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Spazz[ fuck
[Bartolimis[ stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Bartolimis[ we're done >:)
[Ranto[ hmh?
[Spazz[ Your client got an error...
[Bartolimis[ yeah, we're done saying fuck
[Spazz[ everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Spazz[ Quit saying fukc
[Bartolimis[ my bad
[Spazz[ fuck*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
[Icc[ Someone says fuck and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
#409 +(1067)- [X]
[DaZE[ at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4
#3936 +(1044)- [X]
[+kritical[ christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
[+Christin1[ how do i do that
#2605 +(1010)- [X]
* dregan kicks Yamucha in the nuts
* dregan stamps on Yamucha's neck
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Yamucha
]dregan] Oh shit.
#10842 +(969)- [X]
]Aegis] Dude this chick said she wouldn't give me head because she doesn't do that
]Vyse] They still make those?
#8814 +(966)- [X]
]Night-hen-gayle] I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
#6824 +(942)- [X]
]@Logan] I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
]@Logan] I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"
#4680 +(927)- [X]
]Raize] can you guys see what I type?
]vecna] no, raize
]Raize] How do I set it up so you can see it?
#1730 +(872)- [X]
]Mikkel] If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
]Celestya] i dont think so
]Mikkel] Wanna go camping?
#2635 +(872)- [X]
]asr] 'fo sheezy.
]Sabboth] what the fuck does that mean in english? you should understand that having a day job precludes me from 'keeping it real' and as such, I lack a certain familiarity with the language of the 'streets' as it were.
#10958 +(872)- [X]
(morganj): 0 is false and 1 is true, correct?
(alec_eso): 1, morganj
(morganj): bastard.
#5523 +(845)- [X]
]Opcode] i was gonna call 911...but i was downloading a file
#3630 +(823)- [X]
]blazemore] omg i love this song
]blazemore] Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
]Javi] blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song
#3935 +(819)- [X]
*** Signoff: Morpheus (Connection reset by peer)
*** Morpheus (vanford@host-209-214-188-107.clt.bellsouth.net) has joined channel #relax
]Morpheus] argh.. that wasn't my speaker cable
#1069 +(815)- [X]
]orion`-`-] what the fuck
]orion`-`-] i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
]orion`-`-] brbrb
#5426 +(810)- [X]
]Alcaron] You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)
]Longi] Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
]Longi] err?
]Longi] THING
]Longi] someTHING!
#14207 +(786)- [X]
]h|tler] HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
#993 +(785)- [X]
serluny: how long did it took u to learn c?
ReDPriest:4.5 minutes
serluny:how did u do that?
ReDPriest:i downloaded it into my brain..i got a program to do
that
serluny:what program
ReDPriest:download shit into your brain v3.1
serluny:how do i download it?
ReDPriest: go to www.downloadable-shit-for-your-brain.com
serluny:i cant download it something is wrong
#4780 +(779)- [X]
]Thumb] do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
]Lucent] who?
]Thumb] center for disease control
]Lucent] i said WHO
]Thumb] what? i'm asking you
]Lucent] World Health Organization
#1964 +(766)- [X]
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?
#5259 +(760)- [X]
]reuben] somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
]reuben] i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
]cristobal] why don't you put ice on the stairs
]cristobal] and heat up the door knob
]cristobal] and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
]cristobal] then a few years later, fade from the public eye.....
#5863 +(751)- [X]
]mp] i am convinced i am a woman
]Oreoboros] mp: Why's that?
]mp] cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
]mp] and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain
#1963 +(750)- [X]
::: .enter@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190)
~ _YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY
::: .signoff@6.53p> _YOU (harpeet@149.99.97.190); ...
::: .signoff@6.53p> BlueBold (me@tnt01dla202.winnipeg.escape.ca); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p> ic3d (ic3d@64-59-140-156.ivideon.com); Leaving
::: .signoff@6.53p> CoolJeff4 (LoKv70@anolas01-p88.mts.net); Leaving
#6011 +(743)- [X]
]incarnate] hey cres, I know what you're thinking right now
]incarnate] " "
]cres] i dont get it
from the anti-bush protests in new york ( which were way back when, which only goes to show how totally out of touch i was with the outside world for the past 3 weeks. i have no idea what the hell is going on now, really. in fact, i have no idea who this 'bush' guy is. i just think that's a cool top. )
Friday, March 21, 2003 :::
well the air force called just now to ask for my results and tell me that i passed my medical. they say they'll most likely sign me on after my bmt. i hope this is definite, but they';re supposed to consider bmt results also, and since my bmt isn't over yet, i suppose there is still a chance i won't make it?
Grammar Rules for the Unenlightened
Or: How to Write Good
* Don't use no double negatives.
* Don't never use no triple negatives.
* No sentence fragments
Corollary: Complete sentences: important.
* Stamp out and eliminate redundancy.
* Avoid cliches like the plague.
* All generalizations are bad.
Corollary: All statements must be specific.
* Never listen to advice.
* Take care that your verb and subject is in agreement.
* A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.
* Anarchy should be the law.
Corollary: I will establish democracy by dictatorial decree.
* Everyone should be a non-conformist.
* People who insult others are jerks.
* Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
* Death to intolerance.
* Down with categorical imperatives.
* Avoid those run-on sentences that just go on, and on, and on, they never stop, they just keep rambling, and you really wish the person would just shut up, but no, they just keep going, they're worse than the Energizer Bunny, they babble incessantly, and these sentences, they just never stop, they go on forever...if you get my drift...
* Nobody has a right to his opinion.
* Never contradict yourself always.
* Good people like I are never self-righteous.
* You should never use the second person.
* The passive voice should never be used.
* We Scorpios don't believe in astrology.
* When dangling, watch your participles.
* Why no, Ossifer, I'm not under the alcofluence of incohol.
* Never go off on tangents, which are lines that intersect a curve at only one point and were discovered by Euclid, who lived in the sixth century, which was an era dominated by the Goths, who lived in what we now know as Poland...
* Always do what is right, even if it's wrong.
* As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations."
* Excessive use of exclamation points can be disastrous!!!!!
* Remember to end each sentence with a period
* Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.
* Don't use question marks inappropriately?
* Don't be terse.
* Don't obfuscate your theses with extraneous verbiage.
* Never use that totally cool, radically groovy out-of-date slang.
* Stop calling me immature or I'll tell on you.
* Avoid tumbling off the cliff of triteness into the black abyss of overused metaphors.
* Keep your ear to the grindstone, your nose to the ground, take the bull by the horns of a dilemma, and stop mixing your metaphors.
* We will fight to the death for our pacifist aims.
* Avoid those abysmally horrible, outrageously repellent exaggerations.
* Avoid any awful anachronistic aggravating antediluvian alliterations.
* Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Based on an unoriginal email forwarded by Erion Cano, February 1996.
before that a bunch of us went to buy shades. we have a 20% lobang at some spectacle shop in the singapore post centre, so about 15 of us bought oakleys which are, like, almost standard issue among our trainers anyway. got myself a wiretap in silver with fire lenses. as we say, its really there. unfortunately we can't wear it in camp ( of course ) but if any of you see me you can bet i'll be wearing them.
even at night. ( eh, moonlight is damn fierce, ok? )
more proof that life is unfair - the bmtc people get like a week plus of block leave after their bmt, but we don't! after our passing out parade its straight on to basic cdo trg the next day.
and i finally discovered the reason why the SAF's elite are still staying in crummy, falling apart hendon camp - because the SAF is busy installing water coolers at the tekong 300m range, then pasting signs going "water unfit for drinking" on top of them.
as if that wasn't bad enough, the toilet at the range was much nicer than the ones back at hendon. and it even had soap, for fuck's sake. ours don't! and how often is the stupid range used!?!?!
oh and i finally saw the infamous changi village bapoks! we marched past there on the way back and lo and behold, there were 3 of them hanging around on the street. we were across the road from them, so i didn't really get a good look. but perhaps that's just as well...
well, field camp is over. the first week pretty much stank ( much like everyone else did, actually. literally. no showers, remember? its incredibly gross that i didn't brush my teeth for 2 and a half weeks, really. ).
i shall never complain about merely sitting down in wet grass anymore, not after our big contact drill practical.
start from the top. see, one of the things we learnt was how to react to enemy fire ( contact ) and there are standard drills for it which i'm sure are pretty duh and no big secret anyway, but since the army seems to be paranoid about things like these, i had better not go into too much detail about. anyway. so after practicing these drills for the past day or so we had a pseudo test on them and we were issued blanks to shoot off. which was pretty cool, what with everyone running around firing blanks ( well, more like crawling around, firing blanks ). or at least it would have been cool, if i hadn't been made a casualty in the second contact. it was all because of the rest of the humji idiots in my detail. i was like, "back bound, cover! forward bound, follow me!" at which point the idiots behind me were supposed to give suppressing fire and the idiots in front were supposed to chiong forward with me. supposed to. how it actually happened was that the idiots behind just lay there and so did the idiots in front. so i ended up charging up a hill with a friggin' MG on it, alone.
hah. served them right anyway, since they ended up having to carry me around after that. :-p
yah anyway at the end of that series of contact drills they had decided to get everyone dirty. so we were made to leopard crawl throught this ditch which was filled with incredibly smelly gray mud. after crawling some distance we still had to walk in that ditch. and along the way - we walked a pretty long way - the trainers kept going "incoming!" at least 3 or 4 times, which meant we had to drop prone into the mud. end result - gray uniform completely soaked in goop.
and i thought the airborne field in hendon was bad.
let's see...then there was the battle inoculation course, where we had to leopard crawl nearly a 100m through sand and gravel, under barbed wire, with machine guns firing overhead. really ouch. everyone comes out with raw elbows.
we also threw a live frag grenade for our first ( and only ) time. it was cool, except that real grenades are nothing like what you see in the movies. highly unspectacular - no huge fireball, only a big puff of black smoke and really loud boom.
second week was all range - very boring because you're sitting around waiting for your turn to shoot for hours, and there's nothing to do but clean your rifle. hot, too. everyone had a difficult time keeping awake in spite of the dire fates our trainers promised to anyone caught sleeping - lots of people had to roll in mud, or get themselves dripping wet. this was further exacerbated by the fact that we had night shooting for about 3 or 4 consecutive days - we ended up getting only 3-4 hours of sleep each day.
we did a lot more than what i've told you, of course. oh. the mosquitoes there are hell, at night. yeah so anyway we got back on tuesday morning and on tuesday night we had our 24k road march. set off around 8, came back around 3 to 4 in the morning. for me, it isn't the legs which hurt on marches, but rather my shoulders, because of the sbo and field pack. ouch. then a fair number of people end up with blisters and abrasions, but luckily i didn't get any because i had taken the precaution of taping up my feet and putting vaseline on my inner thighs. feet were nevertheless pretty painful by the end of the march. the next day our trainers told us horror stories about the 72k march - entire companies of penguins ( how do penguins walk? ) after that, people holding their buttcheeks apart while walking etc etc. hehe. whoopty doo.
from the anti-bush protests in new york ( which were way back when, which only goes to show how totally out of touch i was with the outside world for the past 3 weeks. i have no idea what the hell is going on now, really. in fact, i have no idea who this 'bush' guy is. i just think that's a cool top. )
